Homer Simpson Quotes

• "Now son, you don't want to drink beer.  That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs."
• "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
• "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
• "Marge, don't discourage the boy!  Weaseling out of things is important to learn.  It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."
• "If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
• "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"
• "I want to share something with you - three sentences that will get you through life:
    Number one, 'Cover for me.'
    Number two, 'Oh, good idea, boss.'
    Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.'"
• "Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda."
• "Step aside everyone!  Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville.  Population: you.'"
• "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy.  People die all the time. Just like that.  Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."
• "Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike.  You just go in every day and do it really half-assed.  That's the American way."
• "Television - teacher, mother, secret lover!"
• "Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene.'" 
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